Confidence is...

We've all had times in our lives when we were unhappy, uncomfortable or just too darn hard on ourselves. Sometimes the reasons are physical, sometimes emotional and sometimes they're about our surroundings. 

But with experience, time and age we gain insight and knowledge. We begin to see that we are in control of our physical and emotional self and that we CAN control our surroundings. 

At some point in my late 20's I realized I was unhappy with myself physically and I set out to change that. I joined Weight Watchers and after almost a year I lost 30 lbs. reaching my goal weight.  I was the thinnest I had ever been and felt super awesome about it. I finally felt sexy. Something I had never experienced!  There was plenty to be happy about with my hot bod, new condo and awesome job but I still felt ....... discontent.

Something in my life was still making me uncomfortable and unhappy. 

I had "friends" but still felt lonely. I had a friend who was a user, another who was a shit talker and pot stirrer, a few that were really just friends of friends and every single one of them was fake. 

Eventually, as things tend to do, it all came to a head, emails were sent to me by mistake, words were said and "friends" were lost. I felt like I was wronged and betrayed and was hurt for a long time.  But with experience, time and age..... I now see that it was a good thing that I got those toxic people out of my life. And I just don't care! I don't care what they think of me. I don't care that they aren't part of my life. I doubt they're even part of each other's lives anymore. 

I don't care that I only have a small handful of real, long-term friends. It's a good thing! I feel more full now with my life than I did with a bunch of fake people. 

I know who I am and all the wonderful things I have to offer. I know that I'm a great friend and most importantly I know I'm enough. That's what confidence is. Knowledge that I am enough just the way I am no matter what size I am or how many friends I have.

What brought this out of the ordinary post on you may be asking?  There's no talk about babies, potty training or Frozen!  Well, the answer is the fabulous Brittany Gibbons. You can check out her Ted talk, her Facebook and her blog where you'll find a bunch of other curvy, confident women. 

Be Confident Ladies. You're fantastic just the way you are. 

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”
- Robin Williams as Lance Clayton in World’s Greatest Dad (2009)

Living in Livermore

We are now officially residents of Livermore! I am super excited to get out and explore this town. So far I can tell you that I love our space (even though it's still a mess of boxes), I love that we're surrounded by rolling hills, I love that there is compost curbside pickup, that I can see the windmills from our street,  that our walkways are surrounded by awesome landscaping, that there is a park playground in walking distance, that there is a 24 hour Safeway, that downtown Livermore is so freakin' awesome and that there seem to be tons of family oriented activities all over the East Bay Area! Not to mention that San Francisco and Monterey Bay are that much closer to us now. Like I said, I can't wait to get out and explore! 

We (and by that I mean I, because who are we kidding here?) haven't gotten as much done as I wanted to by this time because I got friggin' pink eye! And then Elizabeth got it of course. At first it was just a scratch that got infected in my eye, but somehow that turned into pink eye and I was washing my hands raw and washing sheets and towels everyday but Elizabeth still got it and then my other eye got it too. And let me tell you, it was awful. Just a few days ago I really started to feel myself again. Thankfully Elizabeth got over it much more quickly. 

Josh finally went to the doctor for his bad back and had his first PT appointment today.  Hopefully this is something PT can help! 

Elizabeth and Aaron are adjusting well to they're new surroundings and I was a bit freaked out about having stairs but they've both been really good about it. I mean, Elizabeth climbs absolutely everything now so she took the stairs head on. It's a good and not so good thing. I am glad she has the confidence to do these types of things (Aaron still doesn't) but just because the confidence is there doesn't mean she's got the coordination. I definitely have to get a gate for the top of the stairs. 

Aaron likes that we have cable again (LOL) and he loves his new bed and the big window in his room. And I know he enjoys the little pathways around our house as much as I do. 

I have a good feeling about Livermore and this move. This is right for us, I just know it! 

As we explore I'll be posting more pictures on Facebook and Instagram so check me out there!