Friday, October 17, 2014

The Older They Get


Today we had Aaron's parent teacher conference and we are very proud to say that according to his teacher he is very bright and is well ahead of where he needs to be.  Aaron knows all of his letters (both upper and lower case), numbers 0-30 and during the  the test he knew 47 out of 50 site words.  But I called him over during the meeting and asked him to read me the three words he missed during the test and he got two out of the three!  So basically he knows 49 out of the 50!  Woot!  The one "academic" thing he does need to work on is his penmanship.  

After we were done meeting with his teacher we left the classroom and some of the other kids were standing in line waiting to come in (school was just beginning).  Aaron walked out to get in line and put his backpack up.  One of the little girls in his class said "Oooh Aaron!  How'd you get in the class already?"  Well, Elizabeth was having NONE of that and ran after him yelling at the girl "HEY!  That's MY Baby!" (She calls him Baby).  LOL!  I guess she doesn't like other girls talking to her big brother!  I'm pretty sure she's going to be saying in high school "Listen Skank!  That's MY brother!  You better stay away from him or ELSE!"   Hahaha!  Then after we left Aaron in the class to start school we were walking back to the car and Josh was carrying her and I swear to God she was giving some other little girl the stink eye on the way to the parking lot!  Josh and I were cracking up the whole way.  


Back to the whole Baby thing - Elizabeth calls Aaron "Baby".  She won't even attempt to say Aaron!  She says so many other names!  Besides mama & dada she says Elsa, Anna, Sophia ('Phia), Gamma (Grandma), tia, Sam & even Malcolm!  But no Aaron.  Poor Aaron.  He doesn't seem to mind though.  

Elizabeth was still using her binky up until about 2 weeks ago when I finally decided to see if he would notice if I didn't.  I was just really giving it to her for nap and sleep but she started wanting it more again so one day after she woke up I just put it out of site and she never asked for it.  I put her to bed without it and it went really well for the first two days.  After that she would ask for it once in awhile but I'd quickly change the subject and that seems to work so far.  Yesterday was the first time she asked for it and kinda cried about it when I would give it to her.  I just told her I didn't know where it was!  Eventually she got over it but then she asked for it again today.  No fit, but still.  I'm waiting for the day she doesn't mention it.  Until then, I'm hiding them instead of throwing them away.  

Her birthday is next week and we're doing a Frozen theme of course.  The only other thing she likes as much is Sophia the First, but that's a more recent like.  We've ordered the cake and since we don't have family or friends close enough to invite to a party, we're just going to have cake and presents for us four.  I'm not sure if we will go out to eat (she loves pizza) or if we'll do it at home.  Either way I'm sure she'll enjoy it!  As long as she gets her CAKE!  

Hope you're all doing well!  Until next time!

 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Welcome Autumn!

Autumn!  It's officially here and I love it!  Now if only it felt more like autumn I think we'd all be happy!

Aaron's First Day of Kindergarten
Aaron had his first day of Kindergarten about 2 weeks ago at his new school in Livermore.  I think everyone was excited about that!  We've gone to back to school, met his teacher and even bought a school shirt for Spirit Days!  We bought him a new Jake & The Neverland Pirates backpack and lunchbox which he loves.  I think he must be liking it because I'm definitely not hearing as many complaints about going to school like I did in Sacramento.  

I also bought Aaron a small desk for his room at IKEA so he'll have a space to do homework and artwork.  It's white with a green accent drawer, which is is favorite color.  Now I just have to find a cute chair!

He still loves to read (we're currently reading a new chapter book about a zombie goldfish) and he loves animals of all types and he wants to be a veterinarian when he grows up!
Elizabeth Grace
Elizabeth will be 2 years old next month and just had her check up today.  She's 31 lbs and 2' 10.5" tall.  At Aaron's 2 year check up he weighed 2 lbs more and was 1.5" shorter.  So they're not too far off from each other!  

Elizabeth is currently between a 2-3T in clothes but at this point I am buying nothing smaller than a size 3.  She's still in diapers but has recently started to tear off her wet diapers and throw them in the trash can (all on her own!) so I think potty training is just around the corner.  

She definitely has a vocabulary though it is smaller than Aaron's at this age.  But she's saying more and more everyday!  Her favorite saying is "HEY NO!  THAT'S MYYYYYYY BOOK/TOY/MILK (etc)".  Today at the doctor's office though, was the first time she's ever introduced herself to someone!!  It was so cute!  She walked up to the doctor, pointed to herself and said "BUBBA"!  It was the cutest thing EVAH.  

Elizabeth is a fearless, feisty little girl.  She climbs everything, she tells pretty much everyone off and she will even haul off and close-fist punch her brother when he's bothering her.  At first, I couldn't stop laughing about it but now that it's happened several times I'm having to tell her that it's not right.  If her personality stays this way, I don't think we'll have to worry too much about her being bullied!  LOL!  Hopefully not anyway!  

Both kids are doing well and very happy to be under the same roof as their dad again.  We all are!  And we've had so many visitors at this house - it's been wonderful!  We are enjoying Livermore, still exploring, but definitely have found a few favorite spots.  Personally, I'm looking forward to my first autumn here.  With all the farms and vineyards and family activities in the area, I think this fall will be fantastic!

We hope yours will be too!  

 

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Confidence is...


We've all had times in our lives when we were unhappy, uncomfortable or just too darn hard on ourselves. Sometimes the reasons are physical, sometimes emotional and sometimes they're about our surroundings. 

But with experience, time and age we gain insight and knowledge. We begin to see that we are in control of our physical and emotional self and that we CAN control our surroundings. 

At some point in my late 20's I realized I was unhappy with myself physically and I set out to change that. I joined Weight Watchers and after almost a year I lost 30 lbs. reaching my goal weight.  I was the thinnest I had ever been and felt super awesome about it. I finally felt sexy. Something I had never experienced!  There was plenty to be happy about with my hot bod, new condo and awesome job but I still felt ....... discontent.

Something in my life was still making me uncomfortable and unhappy. 

I had "friends" but still felt lonely. I had a friend who was a user, another who was a shit talker and pot stirrer, a few that were really just friends of friends and every single one of them was fake. 

Eventually, as things tend to do, it all came to a head, emails were sent to me by mistake, words were said and "friends" were lost. I felt like I was wronged and betrayed and was hurt for a long time.  But with experience, time and age..... I now see that it was a good thing that I got those toxic people out of my life. And I just don't care! I don't care what they think of me. I don't care that they aren't part of my life. I doubt they're even part of each other's lives anymore. 

I don't care that I only have a small handful of real, long-term friends. It's a good thing! I feel more full now with my life than I did with a bunch of fake people. 

I know who I am and all the wonderful things I have to offer. I know that I'm a great friend and most importantly I know I'm enough. That's what confidence is. Knowledge that I am enough just the way I am no matter what size I am or how many friends I have.

What brought this out of the ordinary post on you may be asking?  There's no talk about babies, potty training or Frozen!  Well, the answer is the fabulous Brittany Gibbons. You can check out her Ted talk, her Facebook and her blog where you'll find a bunch of other curvy, confident women. 

Be Confident Ladies. You're fantastic just the way you are. 

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.”
- Robin Williams as Lance Clayton in World’s Greatest Dad (2009)

Friday, June 13, 2014

Living in Livermore



We are now officially residents of Livermore! I am super excited to get out and explore this town. So far I can tell you that I love our space (even though it's still a mess of boxes), I love that we're surrounded by rolling hills, I love that there is compost curbside pickup, that I can see the windmills from our street,  that our walkways are surrounded by awesome landscaping, that there is a park playground in walking distance, that there is a 24 hour Safeway, that downtown Livermore is so freakin' awesome and that there seem to be tons of family oriented activities all over the East Bay Area! Not to mention that San Francisco and Monterey Bay are that much closer to us now. Like I said, I can't wait to get out and explore! 

We (and by that I mean I, because who are we kidding here?) haven't gotten as much done as I wanted to by this time because I got friggin' pink eye! And then Elizabeth got it of course. At first it was just a scratch that got infected in my eye, but somehow that turned into pink eye and I was washing my hands raw and washing sheets and towels everyday but Elizabeth still got it and then my other eye got it too. And let me tell you, it was awful. Just a few days ago I really started to feel myself again. Thankfully Elizabeth got over it much more quickly. 

Josh finally went to the doctor for his bad back and had his first PT appointment today.  Hopefully this is something PT can help! 

Elizabeth and Aaron are adjusting well to they're new surroundings and I was a bit freaked out about having stairs but they've both been really good about it. I mean, Elizabeth climbs absolutely everything now so she took the stairs head on. It's a good and not so good thing. I am glad she has the confidence to do these types of things (Aaron still doesn't) but just because the confidence is there doesn't mean she's got the coordination. I definitely have to get a gate for the top of the stairs. 

Aaron likes that we have cable again (LOL) and he loves his new bed and the big window in his room. And I know he enjoys the little pathways around our house as much as I do. 
I have a good feeling about Livermore and this move. This is right for us, I just know it! 

As we explore I'll be posting more pictures on Facebook and Instagram so check me out there! 



Tuesday, May 13, 2014

On The Move

Easter 2014
Well, we finally did it!  We found a place and now we're on the move!  These next 2 weeks are going to be crazy but we're packing and arranging and getting rid of things.  After months and months and months of looking - of Josh spending the week in Fremont and sleeping in his car - of our family not being together except for 1.5 days on the weekend, we are finally going to be together again!  I can't wait for this move to be over!

Our new hometown will be the city of Livermore, CA.  We found a townhome that is only about 30 minutes away from Tesla (Josh's work) so his commute won't be horrible and we get to see him everyday!  Once we get settled in I promise to post some pictures!  

Aaron is super excited and asks me "can we just move today?".  He misses his dad so much.  And even Elizabeth asks for him everyday.  Aaron will not completely finish school with his class since we are moving at the end of the month, but I'm already looking into the two elementary schools in the area for Kindergarten next year!  

Please wish us luck and send us good vibes because moving sucks and I need to stay positive!  

I hope you all had a good Easter/Passover and a great Mother's Day!  More to come after the move!

 

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Tales of a Preschool Nothing & Super Bubbs

Taking Aaron to School.
Elizabeth and I take Aaron to preschool every morning.  All the kids at school know Elizabeth and the teachers and parents are always saying hi to her.  She usually wants to sit with her brother and she's been trying to grab those crayons for months but (ew, germs!) I know they'll just go straight in her mouth!  Friday morning though, she sat in the chair next to her brother and grabbed a crayon and started scribbling!  I guess she's seen her brother and the other kids enough now that she knows what the crayons are really for! Isn't this a cute picture?  I think when the time comes, she'll be ready for school.  

Right now Aaron has a teacher, assistant teacher and then a classroom assistant.  Unfortunately, the only person that has been there the entire year is the classroom assistant.  His original teacher left for a better position and the same with the assistant teacher.  It's great for them, but I feel like it's been disruptive for the kids.  Not only that, but I think these replacements just aren't as invested.  The new teacher thought she would just be there temporarily but it looks like they can't find a permanent replacement.  So I guess she's here for the rest of the year and I don't think she's super stoked about it.  It's an unfortunate situation for the children, but we are trying to make the best of it.  Or just trying to make it through the rest of the year anyway!

BUT...  Aaron's original teacher, Ms. K, texted me on Friday to ask how Aaron was getting along and to say that she missed him and the rest of the children.  It was such a nice surprise and so sweet of her!  I know she loved her class and was super invested in each of her students.  I remember her last day she said some really sweet things about Aaron and told me how smart he was and that she could see him growing up to be an architect or doctor.  I feel so good about her and that she could see such good things in Aaron.  She said she would try and visit the classroom soon.  I was so excited to pick up Aaron that day and tell him.  Even though he didn't outwardly show too much emotion about it, I know he'll carry that with him.  That someone was thinking about him and asking about him and missing him.  

I still read Aaron books every night before bedtime and way before he was even born I bought some of my own childhood favorites to read to my kids.  Shel Silverstein, Judy Blume, Roald Dahl, Beverly Cleary.  These are some of the authors that were read to me as a child in school that made me fall in love with books.  (Thanks Ms. Haviland!)  One of the small collections I bought was Judy Blume's Super Fudge collection.  I've been thinking about starting Aaron on these but wasn't sure if he was quite ready for chapter books.  But after reading Uncle Wiggily's Story Book about a million times, I figured he could handle chapters.  

So we started with Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing this week and I've been reading about 2 chapters a night.  The first day after, all Aaron wanted to do was to go straight home from school and start the book back up again!  He didn't even want to visit with his grandparents (which he always wants to do)!  This kind of makes my heart happy.  I'm raising a reader!  It's so wonderful!  Josh and I are both readers and I'm so glad Aaron will be too.  

I think being a reader has definitely helped him with his vocabulary and reading competency.  I can't wait for him to really start reading on his own!  I just imagine all his (overabundance) of toys being replaced by an overabundance of books!  Hooray!!!  Wishful thinking probably, but that's ok.  A mom can hope......

And Elizabeth Grace - in case you're wondering, her finger is doing ok.  She is using it normally.  It's still red under the nail.  There is some dried blood under there and the top joint still seems red but when I followed up with her pediatrician via email, she assured me it would take at least two weeks for any redness and swelling to go away.  I really can't look at it without cringing but that's not because it's nasty, but because I know I did that to her.  I brought that pain.  So every time Josh is home I make him inspect it just in case I'm missing something.  But she doesn't complain about it and she's using it just fine so hopefully I didn't scare her emotionally too.  Ugh.  Mommyhood.

As for the rest of us, we're still on the hunt for a home.  Please send us some good juju.  We need it!  I promise to give you some right back! 

xoxo
  

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Parental Fail


Parent Fail: Smashed Ring Finger
So........this happened.  And I can't stop thinking about it.  It's playing over and over again in my head.  I thought maybe if I just got it out there in the universe it would leave me alone.  Because really, it was a big parental fail.

Aaron was in his room trying to put his pjs on (and by that I mean doing everything he could to delay putting his pjs on) and Elizabeth kept going into his room, playing with his toys and "distracting" him.  So I finally went in there, picked Elizabeth up and put her down in the middle of the hallway.  Then I walked back to Aaron's room, told him to please, for the 825th time, to put his pjs on and that I would close the door (as I was literally doing so) to keep his sister out.  Of course, Elizabeth is faster than lightening and in that 5 second interval of time had made it back to the door and and stuck her hand in the hinge side of the door.  And I closed the door.  All the way.  Without knowing she was there.  And when I realized it and opened the door her little ring finger was blue and indented and bent.  

She's crying and she clung onto me and wouldn't let go.  I tried to pull her away so I could get a better look at the finger and stick it under cold water.  She wouldn't let me.  All I could see was indented, blue and what seemed to be bent.  I never put her down.  I called my sister over and over but she didn't answer.  I told Aaron that we had an emergency and had to take Elizabeth to the doctor and I needed him to be good and listen.  Put shoes and jacket on.  Somehow I was able to get my own pants & shoes on, let the dog out and back in his kennel and get both my kids out the door.  Elizabeth is crying off and on.  The finger to me, looks bad.  Though it is getting better - I just can't get that first image out of my head.

We head to the ER and I get a call back from my sister.  She's still at work but will meet me at the ER.  Then I call Josh and tell him.  And part of me feels horrible for doing this because he's 2 hours away at work and can't come and I know this.  But I call anyway.  Because his daughter is going to the ER.  And it's my fault.  

And Aaron, who is being good but very vocal, is worried and wants to know why I'm crying.  We get to the ER and he announces to the ER that I was upset with him and I smashed the door on the baby's finger.  Which I'm sure sounded horrible to everyone.  My sister arrived just after we did and took charge of Aaron while I checked in.  Elizabeth, by this time had stopped crying and her finger no longer looked bent but did seem swollen and very red of course.  She just seemed tired now.  

Aaron wanted to go with me and Elizabeth everywhere.  But of course I couldn't handle it.  So I made him stay with Eva in the waiting room.  We checked vitals and back to the wait room.  We saw the doctor and then off to x-rays.  And then back to the doctor.  And Elizabeth was so good.  And I felt horrible.  And Aaron was so worried.  

The good news is that the finger is not broken.  The doctor just "prescribed" a cold compress if needed and OTC pain medication.  So we go back home and I give Elizabeth the pain meds and put her to sleep.  She slept through the night.  In fact, I had to wake her this morning to take Aaron to school.  She seems perfect this morning except for a red, slightly swollen finger and being tired.  


I thanked Aaron last night and again this morning for being such a good boy when I needed him to be and I reassured him that his sister was alright.  He gave me a hug and kiss.  The only thing I've ever seen of myself in Aaron is his looks.  He's looked like me from day one but even that wasn't 100%.  Now that he's getting older he's actually starting to look more like Josh.  But I've seen my dad and my older sister in him.  I've called him by my little sister's name before.  He's personality is more like them - my dad and sisters.  But this, him worrying about his sister so much - wanted to stay with her....... That's me.  The first time I've ever said THAT IS ME IN HIM.  I comforted him last night & this morning and will probably do it again tonight.

And though my sister came over last night and stayed for a bit after the kids were asleep, I still couldn't stop thinking about what happened.  And when I went to bed alone, all I wanted was to cuddle with Josh.  I texted him and we promised to cuddle when he got home this weekend.  Having Josh work 2 hours away, staying in Fremont for the week and coming home for a day and a half on the weekend we've joked that I'm basically a single mom during the week.  We've joked, but it's true.  And I don't even know how real single moms do it.  Especially after this.  And it's not even the physical, day to day stuff of being a mom.  It's the fact that I don't have anyone to share the ups and downs with during the week.  Josh wasn't here to go to the ER with us.  He wasn't here to go through this experience - to share the fear and anxiety and relief and guilt.  Even if he didn't feel all those himself, he could share in my feelings.  And I didn't have the physical comfort of Josh.  No hugs, no pats, no hand holding, no cuddles.  After last night I told him he could never leave me.  

He said "I'll never leave you, Bug.  Not until I leave this world".  And if I wasn't crying already, I was then.

This morning after we dropped off Aaron and school we went to Target because I wanted her mind to be distracted and not on the pain of her finger and because.... well, TARGET.  We stopped first at the Starbucks in Target and shared coffee cake and she was happy.

What pain?  I've got coffee cake!
By the time we got home it was her nap time so I put her to sleep and I've only thought about it 2,347 times today and cried 3 times.  I'm just one of those people who replays stuff over and over in my head until either I just get over it or it drives me insane.  Hopefully I'll just get over this.  I might need some help from my therapists, Ben & Jerry.  But if you're reading this, send me some hugs.  I need them.  And if you know some real single moms, hug their faces off too.