Saturday, June 13, 2015

Weekend mornings with kids

As soon as the sun shines through the blinds, the older kid comes in and climbs into bed to watch tv. Your toddler is already there because she woke up in the middle of the night. You turn on Disney XD and go back to sleep until at some point the older one goes back and forth between waking you up and waking his dad up to inform us there is a bug on the ceiling. 

Both parents acknowledge it and then go back to bed. But older kid won't let up so finally you firmly say "YES! We see it but we don't care about the bug right now! So for the love of all that's holy, please let me sleep some more before your sister wakes!"

5 minutes later said bug falls on your arm and BOTH kids are informing you of the obvious. Awesome. 

SO now you're up. Check the time - 7:30 am. For Gods sake, his long has this been going on? 

You take the toddler to change her night diaper because all she can talk about is apple juice and you have to take her downstairs. When you're trying to put her pj pants back on (because, Saturday) she starts crying because she wants to wear black pants. Ok, so you search the drawers for her one pair of black pants and put them on. You offer to change the shirt too because at this point she might as well be dressed and she whines "Nooooo!". Ok then. 

You go downstairs with the toddler and start the breakfast process. Meanwhile the older one is still upstairs watching cartoons. 10 minutes later he comes downstairs and announces that you need to turn the television to what he was watching upstairs because he's hungry and needs to come downstairs. You roll your eyes and ignore the rude request. 

He continues to inform you that he's starving. You realize you're out of coffee and want to die. 

You serve breakfast. The older child (who is starving, remember?) stares at his plate, plays with the food, fork and chair. He takes an entire hour to eat 1 scrambled egg, 1 piece of bacon and 5 tortilla chips. Meanwhile your toddler eats all her bacon and the 2 chips on her plate  in 10 minutes but leaves the egg and then proceeds to beg everyone else for their bacon. 

Finally after you clear the table and sit on the couch to see if you can rest unnoticed for a few moments the dog starts to whine at you. And then the kids conspire to hit you with the spatula and throw balls at you. 

It's not even 10 am. Oh, and your husband is still in bed. Is it nap time yet?