Tales of a Preschool Nothing & Super Bubbs

Taking Aaron to School.

Elizabeth and I take Aaron to preschool every morning.  All the kids at school know Elizabeth and the teachers and parents are always saying hi to her.  She usually wants to sit with her brother and she's been trying to grab those crayons for months but (ew, germs!) I know they'll just go straight in her mouth!  Friday morning though, she sat in the chair next to her brother and grabbed a crayon and started scribbling!  I guess she's seen her brother and the other kids enough now that she knows what the crayons are really for! Isn't this a cute picture?  I think when the time comes, she'll be ready for school.  

Right now Aaron has a teacher, assistant teacher and then a classroom assistant.  Unfortunately, the only person that has been there the entire year is the classroom assistant.  His original teacher left for a better position and the same with the assistant teacher.  It's great for them, but I feel like it's been disruptive for the kids.  Not only that, but I think these replacements just aren't as invested.  The new teacher thought she would just be there temporarily but it looks like they can't find a permanent replacement.  So I guess she's here for the rest of the year and I don't think she's super stoked about it.  It's an unfortunate situation for the children, but we are trying to make the best of it.  Or just trying to make it through the rest of the year anyway!

BUT...  Aaron's original teacher, Ms. K, texted me on Friday to ask how Aaron was getting along and to say that she missed him and the rest of the children.  It was such a nice surprise and so sweet of her!  I know she loved her class and was super invested in each of her students.  I remember her last day she said some really sweet things about Aaron and told me how smart he was and that she could see him growing up to be an architect or doctor.  I feel so good about her and that she could see such good things in Aaron.  She said she would try and visit the classroom soon.  I was so excited to pick up Aaron that day and tell him.  Even though he didn't outwardly show too much emotion about it, I know he'll carry that with him.  That someone was thinking about him and asking about him and missing him.  

I still read Aaron books every night before bedtime and way before he was even born I bought some of my own childhood favorites to read to my kids.  Shel Silverstein, Judy Blume, Roald Dahl, Beverly Cleary.  These are some of the authors that were read to me as a child in school that made me fall in love with books.  (Thanks Ms. Haviland!)  One of the small collections I bought was Judy Blume's Super Fudge collection.  I've been thinking about starting Aaron on these but wasn't sure if he was quite ready for chapter books.  But after reading Uncle Wiggily's Story Book about a million times, I figured he could handle chapters.  

So we started with Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing this week and I've been reading about 2 chapters a night.  The first day after, all Aaron wanted to do was to go straight home from school and start the book back up again!  He didn't even want to visit with his grandparents (which he always wants to do)!  This kind of makes my heart happy.  I'm raising a reader!  It's so wonderful!  Josh and I are both readers and I'm so glad Aaron will be too.  

I think being a reader has definitely helped him with his vocabulary and reading competency.  I can't wait for him to really start reading on his own!  I just imagine all his (overabundance) of toys being replaced by an overabundance of books!  Hooray!!!  Wishful thinking probably, but that's ok.  A mom can hope......

And Elizabeth Grace - in case you're wondering, her finger is doing ok.  She is using it normally.  It's still red under the nail.  There is some dried blood under there and the top joint still seems red but when I followed up with her pediatrician via email, she assured me it would take at least two weeks for any redness and swelling to go away.  I really can't look at it without cringing but that's not because it's nasty, but because I know I did that to her.  I brought that pain.  So every time Josh is home I make him inspect it just in case I'm missing something.  But she doesn't complain about it and she's using it just fine so hopefully I didn't scare her emotionally too.  Ugh.  Mommyhood.

As for the rest of us, we're still on the hunt for a home.  Please send us some good juju.  We need it!  I promise to give you some right back! 

xoxo

  

Parental Fail

Parent Fail: Smashed Ring Finger

So........this happened.  And I can't stop thinking about it.  It's playing over and over again in my head.  I thought maybe if I just got it out there in the universe it would leave me alone.  Because really, it was a big parental fail.

Aaron was in his room trying to put his pjs on (and by that I mean doing everything he could to delay putting his pjs on) and Elizabeth kept going into his room, playing with his toys and "distracting" him.  So I finally went in there, picked Elizabeth up and put her down in the middle of the hallway.  Then I walked back to Aaron's room, told him to please, for the 825th time, to put his pjs on and that I would close the door (as I was literally doing so) to keep his sister out.  Of course, Elizabeth is faster than lightening and in that 5 second interval of time had made it back to the door and and stuck her hand in the hinge side of the door.  And I closed the door.  All the way.  Without knowing she was there.  And when I realized it and opened the door her little ring finger was blue and indented and bent.  

She's crying and she clung onto me and wouldn't let go.  I tried to pull her away so I could get a better look at the finger and stick it under cold water.  She wouldn't let me.  All I could see was indented, blue and what seemed to be bent.  I never put her down.  I called my sister over and over but she didn't answer.  I told Aaron that we had an emergency and had to take Elizabeth to the doctor and I needed him to be good and listen.  Put shoes and jacket on.  Somehow I was able to get my own pants & shoes on, let the dog out and back in his kennel and get both my kids out the door.  Elizabeth is crying off and on.  The finger to me, looks bad.  Though it is getting better - I just can't get that first image out of my head.

We head to the ER and I get a call back from my sister.  She's still at work but will meet me at the ER.  Then I call Josh and tell him.  And part of me feels horrible for doing this because he's 2 hours away at work and can't come and I know this.  But I call anyway.  Because his daughter is going to the ER.  And it's my fault.  

And Aaron, who is being good but very vocal, is worried and wants to know why I'm crying.  We get to the ER and he announces to the ER that I was upset with him and I smashed the door on the baby's finger.  Which I'm sure sounded horrible to everyone.  My sister arrived just after we did and took charge of Aaron while I checked in.  Elizabeth, by this time had stopped crying and her finger no longer looked bent but did seem swollen and very red of course.  She just seemed tired now.  

Aaron wanted to go with me and Elizabeth everywhere.  But of course I couldn't handle it.  So I made him stay with Eva in the waiting room.  We checked vitals and back to the wait room.  We saw the doctor and then off to x-rays.  And then back to the doctor.  And Elizabeth was so good.  And I felt horrible.  And Aaron was so worried.  

The good news is that the finger is not broken.  The doctor just "prescribed" a cold compress if needed and OTC pain medication.  So we go back home and I give Elizabeth the pain meds and put her to sleep.  She slept through the night.  In fact, I had to wake her this morning to take Aaron to school.  She seems perfect this morning except for a red, slightly swollen finger and being tired.  

I thanked Aaron last night and again this morning for being such a good boy when I needed him to be and I reassured him that his sister was alright.  He gave me a hug and kiss.  The only thing I've ever seen of myself in Aaron is his looks.  He's looked like me from day one but even that wasn't 100%.  Now that he's getting older he's actually starting to look more like Josh.  But I've seen my dad and my older sister in him.  I've called him by my little sister's name before.  He's personality is more like them - my dad and sisters.  But this, him worrying about his sister so much - wanted to stay with her....... That's me.  The first time I've ever said THAT IS ME IN HIM.  I comforted him last night & this morning and will probably do it again tonight.

And though my sister came over last night and stayed for a bit after the kids were asleep, I still couldn't stop thinking about what happened.  And when I went to bed alone, all I wanted was to cuddle with Josh.  I texted him and we promised to cuddle when he got home this weekend.  Having Josh work 2 hours away, staying in Fremont for the week and coming home for a day and a half on the weekend we've joked that I'm basically a single mom during the week.  We've joked, but it's true.  And I don't even know how real single moms do it.  Especially after this.  And it's not even the physical, day to day stuff of being a mom.  It's the fact that I don't have anyone to share the ups and downs with during the week.  Josh wasn't here to go to the ER with us.  He wasn't here to go through this experience - to share the fear and anxiety and relief and guilt.  Even if he didn't feel all those himself, he could share in my feelings.  And I didn't have the physical comfort of Josh.  No hugs, no pats, no hand holding, no cuddles.  After last night I told him he could never leave me.  

He said "I'll never leave you, Bug.  Not until I leave this world".  And if I wasn't crying already, I was then.

This morning after we dropped off Aaron and school we went to Target because I wanted her mind to be distracted and not on the pain of her finger and because.... well, TARGET.  We stopped first at the Starbucks in Target and shared coffee cake and she was happy.

What pain?  I've got coffee cake!

By the time we got home it was her nap time so I put her to sleep and I've only thought about it 2,347 times today and cried 3 times.  I'm just one of those people who replays stuff over and over in my head until either I just get over it or it drives me insane.  Hopefully I'll just get over this.  I might need some help from my therapists, Ben & Jerry.  But if you're reading this, send me some hugs.  I need them.  And if you know some real single moms, hug their faces off too.